On the fifth day of the great binge I looked at myself in the mirror.
I had just woken up, late in the afternoon.
Dishevelled face, bags under the eyes, splitting headache,messy hair, aching muscles, a twitching brain and wobbling joints – not mentioning how bloated I felt, the abdominal aches and the fluttering in my chest.
I said to myself, rather helplessly.
“You only feel like this because you are sober.”
So gulped, snorted and smoked, hopelessly and shamefully, with an undoing self-loathing and a deep disillusionment of who I believed myself to be.
‘Why can’t I stop? How can I stop? Will I stop?’ I worried, became too overwhelmed.
So I gulped, snorted and smoked.