This is not how man should live, with a heart so heavy he sinks through the floor. I get so tired of the fatigues and the sickness. I get so lost within myself. To find anyone, would truly give me some sort of peace – a chance to escape myself would be heaven. Can I be carefree and without worry? Don’t think so, death is all I see. It’s all I think. I feel like one day I will pass, send myself six feet under. Believe me, I would disappear and take the nothingness with me.
Honest words that don’t make sense to me… or to anyone. So leave me to lick my wounded heart and die.
I wrote this a week ago, I was contemplating suicide because of my health problems. Didn’t want to share it but I feel like I can now. Anyway, this is the reason i have disappeared for so long. As soon as I get myself back, even if it is the tiniest bit in a flash of a second, I will produce something worthwhile. Wish me luck.