My knees are sore and bleeding, but I am standing in a flood of booze, disinfecting my wounds from the inside out, when I take a sip of the margerita in front of me. I look at the bar and the crowd of drunk people, how they are cracking jokes, playing drinking games, dancing and flirting with each other.
We all just want the pain to go away. We just want to silence this smart-arse voice inside of us, to be quiet even for a few hours. Trying to drown our thoughts and problems into the tiny glassware filled up with too much ice and less alcohol
So we order the next drink.
And I am about to leave, wading through a swamp of cigarette stubs, booze and spit.
The air smells like burned candy, sweat and cheap perfume.
Stumbling out of the bar into the night,gasping for fresh air.
I can imagine how the night will run out, with the ones sobbing into the bartender’s ears, crying and puking in the girls restrooms, men crushing their skulls on the street, fighting over god knows what.
In a world where we are constantly reminded that we are not enough, who wouldn’t prefer a little peace of mind, vacation from our problems even for a few hours?
It’s too late, the demons we wanted to drown are knocking us down. We tried to push them down, spiced up with our fears and problems- and by trying to bury them they slowly start to brew inside of us, eating us alive.
But we won’t let it happen.
We won’t let it boil us up.
We will find something worth fighting for. We will find something that sets us on fire and let it consume us. Our inner vibe.
Sandy Author 